For the record...

It is 8:30 a.m. and I've eaten 3 pieces of bacon, 1 sausage patty, a large bowl of oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar, 32 chunks of pineapple and an apple. And I am contemplating a chocolate muffin to go with my latte.

So, to those of you who say I never eat anything, fuck off. I eat all the time, just not all at once. I munch. I nibble. I graze.

Speaking of grazing...

I just returned from my trip to California. I was visiting the fairest child who is finishing up a semester at the So Cal Marine Biology labs on Catalina Island. Once owned by chewing gum magnate, Wrigley, the island is now held by a conservancy that makes every effort to preserve the land for the grazing pleasure of such wildlife as boar, deer, red fox (although technically, foxes don't "graze"), and buffalo.

In fact, I've been hearing about one wild inhabitant, Charlie the bison, for a month now. Charlie apparently escaped the inner-island "sanctuary" where the bison are contained "for their own protection." According to Amy, Charlie is a regular at the labs, grazing outside the dining hall while the students graze within, and snoozing in the ditch that the students stumble through on nights of wild life drinking. Wouldn't you know it, Charlie failed to appear on any of the days I was there.

I myself did a tad bit of grazing. I ate more food than I thought possible, all of it good - surprising for a mess hall-type atmosphere. First night, we had the biggest beef ribs I've ever seen, followed the next day by some mighty tasty burgers. Saturday night, we had chicken-fried steak, and Sunday's lunch was mm-mm-good sloppy joes. The funny thing was, none of it tasted like your average every day beef...

I don't think they will be seeing Charlie anymore...