The Universe is Wackadoo

This is how much sense The Universe makes.

What's my beef with The Universe, you ask? Well, first, it didn't rain CDs in Seattle like The Universe said it would. I ended up buying Rufus Wainright myself, so now The Universe owes me $16.

Second, it told me to be patient, like a tree. What kind of sense does that make? I mean, I fully believe trees are capable of emotional control, so having patience is not outside the scope of what a tree can do. However, patient trees get cut down! Struck by lightning! Eaten by bugs!!! Why on earth would I want to wait for that to happen??

Today, The Universe says, "Fear always goes away, Vicky, once two things are realized: First, you're a spiritual being. Second, nothing can ever be lost or taken from a spiritual being that cannot be recreated. Not pride, not money, not love. Bet they'd love to have you in the CIA, Vicky."

Dear The Universe,
Let's make a deal - you keep the pride, I'll take the money and love...and another Rufus Wainwright CD.

--Vicky

PS - I'm already in the CIA. I woulda thunk you'd know that...sheesh! What kind of omniscient being are you, anyway?