How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Here's a link you might enjoy...
Personally, I hate that song. And when the two youngest angels said, "Ooooh, it's the day after Thanksgiving and time for Christmas carols on the radio," I said, "Oh crap, I hope they don't play that stupid song about the kid buying his dying mama some shoes!"
It's worse than that. The song is all over the internet. It's on people's blogs, it's been on the news, it's even on YouTube. What a waste of cyberspace, even if it is infinite!
Seriously! What a blatant grab at our seasonal vulnerability. Country singers have clearly sunk to a new low in what they are willing to write about, and it pisses me off. Jeez frikkin' louise. And I read one article that descries this song as "capturing the essence of Christmas." What-the-fuck ever!
The song, "Christmas Shoes," by Bob Carlisle is the epitomy of the one thing I hate most about the holiday season - people with hidden agendas taking advantage of humanity's vulnerability at this time of year. Here we are all hopped up on rampant hot and cold emotions and some stupid country singer is tapping into that bloodline and sucking just long enough to feed his insatiable appetite for fame and fortune.
And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
So, what? This wouldn't be equally sentimental if the kid was well-dressed? Well-dressed, clean kids don't have dying mamas too?
Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
The kid is dirty, and his mama is dying on Christmas Eve. If she had died in the middle of February, this would not, of course, have been as sad a story.
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight
Yeah, what the kid really wants is for Jesus to think his mama's smile is pretty. Wouldn't that just suck if she went to hell instead?
And he turned and he looked at me
And he said Momma made Christmas good in our house
Most years she just did without
Tell me Sir
What am I gonna do?
Some how I gotta buy her these Christmas shoes
I know I won't regret some help as he thanked me and ran out
I know that God sent that little boy to remind me
What Christmas is all about
Hey, I've seen A Christmas Carole. I know we lose the meaning of Christmas. But don't it just bite when the guy who is reminding us of "what Christmas is all about" makes a tidy profit off refocusing us?
And when he gets it wrong, it's even worse! Christmas is NOT about the spirit of giving. Christmas (the one without the X) is about hope at a time of great despair.
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a saviour." Luke 2:11
Lord! and shall angels have their songs
And men no tunes to raise?
O may we lose these useless tongues
When they forget to praise!
'Glory to God that reigns above,
That pitied us forlorn!'
We join to sing our Maker's love,
For there's a Saviour born.
posted by wood_song at 9:03 PM
6 Comments:
Who knew that Jesus was a shoe fusspot?
Also, is it just me or does the singer in the video look like a pedophile the way he is sidling up behind that dirty young scrap of a lad (can you sidle up behind some one?)?
10:44 PM
Yes, as long as the sidler is sidling with one side forward, it doesn't matter what direction the sides of the sidler's objet d'intention are facing. Sidle away! And give Olas' panties back!!
1:43 PM
Seriously, where is this kid's dad?? It's Christmas eve, his son's mother is dying, and the kid is at the mall shopping for shoes.
Oh, that's right, it's a boy. Shopping on Christmas Eve is normal for guys...the dad's probably doing it too, while the last few ounces of life drain out of his wife's body.
And the father clearly thinks the kid is old enough for a discussion that involves telling his son on Christmas Eve that mom doesn't have long to live. That's some heavy information for such a little dude, you know?
So, while the kid is adult enough to understand life, death and afterlife, he is not old enough to figure out that shoes and sick beds don't exactly go hand in hand? He should be buying her a heart-shaped pendant from Weisbaum's! I mean if you are gonna rely on strangers to foot the bill, it might as well be a hefty one, eh?
Dammit, I thought I was over this tirade, but clearly I'm not!!
1:55 PM
I did not know there was a music video for this. WT-fucking-F, people?! It's bad enough that every channel plays this lame-o sob-story every two fuckin' minutes on the radio, now we have to SEE it, too? Aaaand seriously! Christmas is NOT about giving! "Giving" is just a nice, hidden way of saying "receiving". What Christmas is TRULY about is Ham. Nice, juicy, honey-baked Ham. That's right, with a capital H.
PS Have you heard this one yet? http://youtube.com/watch?v=-8ouaWgUCNg&feature=related Listen to it all the way through. It's my new favorite Christmas song. *p-uke!*
4:22 PM
Music as an emetic - who would have known there was a market.
But seriously (as if), we just have to get a karaoke version of Happy Birthday Jesus!
BTW Anne Geddes is probably a terrible mum.
To make up for all the shite, here's a much better Christmas song from Father Jack in a previous incarnation as Frank Kelly: http://youtube.com/watch?v=NQkF7fpw-wI
1:18 AM
Haaaaahahaha! Awesome!!!
9:09 PM
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