Dead Heat

These snails are mating. Their genitals are in their heads. So, they aren't actually kissing here. They are flat-out fucking. From The Fool, "...courting may take up to six hours, and involves circling, tentacle touching, and lip and genital biting." Sounds strangely familiar...

I think we are voting for a new president this year, yes? Neither Zap nor Gerry can answer that question as I will never, ever trust them on a year-type question again...

The rest of you though, I need you to focus on who I'm going to vote for in November. I don't feel you are taking your responsibilities to proselytize me seriously. Are you an Obama mama or do you like women that cry when they lose? Speak! This is a safe environment in which to do so; I make only one request - that you have an alcoholic beverage in your hand when you do. That's only fair as I'm going to be drinking when I read your responses.

(This reminds me of the best disclaimer I've seen on a blog
Typewriter Machine. I'm with you, Mich.)

Ok, back to l'élection d'un fonctionnaire. I am going online right now to see who is running. It appears my choices are:

For the Elephants, John McCain (he is good-looking in a rugged sort of way, I must admit). For the Asses, Obama and Hillary. I would call her Clinton, make it sound less sexist or perhaps more, turning it back into a good ole' boys club, but then I might confuse her with her ass of a husband.

Now, here's the thing - I don't watch TV, I don't read the newspaper, and I don't surf the net. So I don't have a clue as to what any of these three stand for. I don't know their stance on the war, on abortion, on whether or not teachers/my daughter should get paid more or less. I am virgin soil just waiting for your brains to fuck some sense into me.

I am leaning at the moment, sans intelligent reasoning, towards Obama. I am republican, sure, and this will be the first ever I've crossed the political line. However, I feel my vote would be wasted on McCain if the other 99.9999% of republicans are not voting for a republican candidate.
I have, however, listened to a number of comments and watched a number of Youtube videos. And I've heard from God who says Obama is a MacDaddy.

No offense, God, but I'm leaning towards the MacDaddy and it's solely based on Etherhuffers Synaptic Chasm. His Lincoln's Hat trumps your Holy Word of God, especially since I'm not quite sure what version you are reading from.

The sands in the hourglass are swiftly running out. Speak now or forever hold your peace. Once the HUMINT is in (I read that in a book), I will carefully digest and determine if I should vote my then-enlightened conscience or do what I planned to do all along, which is give my vote to the irish since they have no say but loads of common sense.

Now BOTTOMS UP and pass me a pint of your wisdom forsooth.