Silent, But Deadly

When Amy was a baby, we discovered that, if we squeezed her midriff, she would fart. She retains that ability to this day, which likely explains why she won't let anyone touch her midriff.

On a similar note, I love to poke fun at Little Adam, I think because he emotionally toots when I do. He's a decent enough guy, and I am generally nice to everyone. I am, in fact, fairly incapable of playing practical jokes because I feel so bad afterwards.

The last practical joke I played was on Gerry - I poured pixie stix into his wine. I still feel badly, especially since Linda scolded me for doing it.

Before that...well, that would have been in 1999, when I turned the lights out on someone who was trying to find something in a storage closet strewn with boxes and debris. When I flipped the lights on 15 seconds later, it was to discover she had someone in there with her, a woman stricken with polio who was then also stricken with terror at being in a dark, enclosed space with clutter at her feet. I still feel incredible remorse for that one.

And yet I pick on Adam. Go figure.

The winter of my pale ail's ninth year, she was in a sledding accident that left her with a ruptured spleen and internal bleeding. She spent a week in ICU being released into our care with strict instructions that no pressure be applied against her abdomen for six weeks. That meant for six weeks we weren't allowed to squeeze toots out of her.

And, because the seatbelt strapped right across the injured organ, it meant we had to drive like old fogies for six weeks. No fast accelerations, no sudden stops. For six freakin' weeks.

I could tell people were irritated with my slow driving. And while I knew it was necessary, they didn't. And that's when it dawned on me that perhaps their annoying driving habits were equally warranted and I should give them the benefit of the doubt instead of feeling unkindly towards them.

I wonder, then, if I always assume the other person has a reason for their bizarre or irritating behavior, would I be less likely to respond negatively towards them? If I assume they have internal injuries, would I be less likely to poke at them thinking it will do nothing more than cause a small emotional "toot?"

I struggle with this because, quite honestly, it is so much fun to poke at Adam. While I don't really know what makes him tick, I cannot resist messing with his clockworks. I am actually quite ashamed of myself as you can tell by the fact that I am blogging about it when I should be painting my nails.

So what's my point? That I'm going to quit poking at Adam? Not a freakin' chance. I actually have no point - I just wanted everyone to know that Amy farts when you squeeze her midriff :-)