A Dingo Ate My Baby

I'm just putting this out there - Irish Eyes should not be allowed to watch children.

"The Dream:
We (the pool team and birdman) were staying at a hotel/mall/park type of place. Princess Ladybug was there and J was there with her baby girl (who was very cute). J gave me the baby to mind, I went to the bank with her and then on to do other stuff. When I got back to the hotel room I didn’t have the baby!! Yes, I lost J’s baby, left her in the bank..hehe.

So anyway I ran frantically around the hotel/mall/park looking for the baby but no one had seen her, she was only about 6 months old. Then I met up with J & birdman again in the park and J said “I can’t believe you lost a baby” but wasn’t too upset and so I asked if she already had the baby. She laughed (in her evil laugh) and said yes, the bank found the baby and gave it back to her hours ago, even before I got back to the hotel.

I got really, really mad. Everyone was in on the joke except me. So I marched off hopping mad. Then I woke up."

Now, you may be wondering why Irish Eyes having a dream would translate in my mind into "don't let her mind the baby!" Well, it isn't actually the dream - it's this:

"Yes, I lost J’s baby, left her in the bank..hehe. "

Who laughs about losing someone's baby even if it IS a dream??!! And does she not remember what happened the night she lost a CLUE CARD?? If it had been MY dream, I would have woken up in a cold, clammy sweat of fear, and I would NOT have fallen back to sleep until I checked under the bed for a hidden and wrath-filled J.

Ok, so I got to work a little early this a.m. and decided to see what mon petit scientifique was up to. Her stomach appears to be feeling better, and she is gaining new and exciting experience in how efficiently law enforcement agencies function in third-world countries. I believe she is also coming to grips with the reality that, whether or not she pays for it, her wallet and cell phone will not likely be recovered. Keep the thirty bucks, sweetie...

Then, because it was still early and I was already done going through my inbox, I decided to look up camping sites on the internet. And there I was reminded of one of my favorite things to do - kiss.

(For those of you wondering what the connection is between kissing and camping, there is none, I am just that easily sidetracked at times :)

9 Things You Don't Know About Kissing

(Oh, really? First, you have not interviewed ME at ALL, so how do you know that I do not already know these particular nine things? Hm??)

See? Sidetracked...

Ok:
1. There are tons of nerve endings in your lips (100 times more than in your fingertips!) that stimulate desire. That's why smooching before, during, and after sex can be extremely arousing and satisfying.

(but your fingers have plenty of nerve endings as well, so do include them in your kissing foreplay. Before, during and after sex, fingers like to be kissed, sucked and even gently bit. Or so I hear...)

2. Pay attention to those "See ya later" pecks. If your guy routinely only gives you a quick kiss on the cheek when saying good-bye, it could be that he's guarded and doesn't emote easily. If this is a more recent development, it's a warning sign; he may be feeling ambivalent about the relationship.

(I'm not touching this one...)

3. Forty percent of men say that a really long, steamy kiss will get them immediately ready to head to the bedroom. (Thirty percent said that grabbing their crotch will do it. Duh.)

(Seriously? ONLY FORTY PERCENT???)

4. Instantly turn up the kissing intimacy by closing the "A-frame": a smooching stance in which you and your guy are in the middle of a smooch but your hips are a mile apart. By pressing your hips together, the degree of desire quickly rises.

(Ok, this one is true, but I'd kinda like to try the A-frame once...just to see how incredible awkward it must feel...)

5. The best way to kiss a guy's ear? Kiss and suck on his earlobe for a moment and then trace the outline of his ear with the tip of your tongue. (Bonus points if you whisper something naughty to him.)

(excuse me, I need to take a moment to cool down, I sometimes have WAY too vivid an imagination and I just combined 4 and 5 to rather amazing results...)

6. Men initiate open-mouth kissing to transfer libido-boosting testosterone to their partner. So when he's getting a little more aggressive, it's not just about his desire — he wants you to be a bit more amorous too.

(Oh, well would you look at that! There IS one I didn't know...)

7. Men are more than twice as likely to sleep with a bad kisser than are women.

(NO FREAKIN' DUH...)

8. Fifty-four percent of women between the ages of 18 and 24 say they've kissed another girl. That number drops to 43 percent for those between 25 and 34.

(And what? The statistic for women 35 through 55 is of no interest???)

9. During the Middle Ages, people signed legal contracts by making an "X" on the document and then kissing it to pledge their honor. That's how XX became shorthand for a smooch.

(Did you REALLY just waste your final point on kissing talking about the origins of the XX? Sheesh...)

9 Things A Woodnymph Does To Heighten The Enjoyment of Kissing:

1. (Ok, yeah, no, I've decided NOT to go down that road at this moment - I may not be seeing monkeyboy for a day or two and I cannot possibly think about kissing without wanting to...well...5, 4, 1 and 3 him...)