My ha ha power

anarchy: absence of government, a state of lawlessness or political disorder due to the absence of governmental authority; a utopian society of individuals who enjoy complete freedom without government

So, there I was taking a shower and, just as I lathered up my hands to smooth bodywash down my belly, I start thinking about the book A Clockwork Orange. Now I'm a voracious reader and it irks me to start a book and not finish it, talking of course about real books and not self-help or history books or the bible - these are quite often not stomachable in one sitting. But A Clockwork Orange is touted as being one of the best novels of our generation and, for the life of me, I cannot read it; it's too confusing.

"I had to have a smeck, though, thinking of what ... I'd viddied once in one of these like articles on Modern Youth, about how Modern Youth would be better off if A Lively Appreciation Of The Arts could be like encouraged. Great Music, it said, and Great Poetry would like quieted Modern Youth down and make Modern Youth more Civilized. Civilized my syphilised yarbles. Music always sort of sharpened me up, O my brothers, and made me feel like old Bog himself, ready to make with the old donner and blitzen and have vecks and ptitsas creeching away in my ha ha power."

Huh?

So, I was thinking about this book and I determined that perhaps it was time I gave it another try; the same thing happened with Great Expectations which I tried unsuccessfully to read like fifteen times, and the sixteenth time I was completely entranced from beginning to end and may I just say, "WELL DONE CHARLES DICKENS!"

I bent over to soap up my legs and thighs, and the thought occurred to me that I don't understand how such a negative word as anarchy can have such a positive component to it, that being utopia, and why this component is so consistently overlooked. Either I don't fully understand anarchy or I don't fully understand utopia which is understandable because it doesn't really exist.

utopia: an imaginary and indefinitely remote place; a place of ideal perfection especially in laws, government, and social conditions; an impractical scheme for social improvement

So with thoughts of social improvement in my head and shampoo in my hair (I like to shampoo my hair, bodywash my bum and apply antiperspirant soap to those parts of my body that might, under steamy conditions, perhaps glisten a bit - women don't actually sweat, mind you - I like to do all that before actually rinsing from top to bottom and all places in between...), I think to myself that perhaps the flaw in thinking anarchy is bad lies at the foot of history where the implementation has not turned out so well and has resulted in the malignment of what is actually a fairly decent concept. If one could live at peace with their neighbor in a society that had no need for law, what's wrong with that?

The problem is we have a hard time saying the word "law" without tacking on "order." We think one cannot exist without the other, and it can't - we're human and flawed.

But I want utopia in my brain, it is becoming increasingly apparent that I am currently governed by a set of rules and standards that are far too uncompromising, rigid and restrictive for me to live in any sort of utopia unless utopia is a state of complete isolation, fear and denial, which I guess is ok if you're one of those people who think resting on a bed of nails is relaxing and peaceful...

I thought to myself at this juncture that perhaps I would look into this issue more thoroughly when I was no longer naked and wet, so I stepped out of the shower and proceeded to dry off with the incredibly luxurious bath towel monkeyboy provides for just exactly that (I have a ritual every bit as entertaining as his bath-drying technique, although he has never seen mine and I've seen his multiple times, funny since I'm the exhibitionist and he is not).

Completely clean and very nearly but not entirely dry, I proceeded to search my overnight bag for a pair of clean panties (note, I do not wear underpants; I wear panties or underpanties or nothing, this is similar to the difference between men sweating and women glistening; women also don't fart, by the way - they fluff), all the while still pondering how to attain utopia in my fear-riddled brain.

And I started thinking about the time in my past where I would take apart broken watches because they were broken so there wasn't a whole lot of harm I could do them at that point, and I just might have managed to fix them, and I did, actually, a numer of times, you see? And I went from there to thinking that perhaps a bit of psychological anarchization might be beneficial as I clearly cannot live under the regime of a government whose primary tool of motivation is fear, and at that moment, I think to myself, "Wow, this is as confusing as A Clockwork Orange!"

So I go to work having determined two things - 1) That I will give A Clockwork Orange another chance and 2) that I am on the right track in focusing my synergies on getting rid of thoughts that reinforce unfounded fears.

Clearly the first is a tad easier than the second and no time like the present to start, so I look up A Clockwork Orange on the internet and, I do not lie, the first line of the description in Wikipedia says, "A Clockwork Orange (1962) is a dystopian novel by Anthony Burgess."

dystopia: an imaginary place where people lead dehumanized and often fearful lives.

Well shut my mouth.