Fastest Draw in the West

Speaking of blood...

I went to give again today. You may recall I made a commitment several months ago to donate; I was rejected (and soundly, I might add) because I had been drinking diet coke that day.

I've since learned that the woman who rudely spewed me from the blood bus was full of shit. There is no such rule that one cannot donate blood if all one drinks is diet coke.

Still, I was glad to take the pass; I wasn't actually prepared to squish that particular spider. But, I've grown up since then and am beginning to more agressively challenge my socially anxious self. I determined, as part of my self-improvement program, to once again sign up to donate.

Today was the day; the bus was out front, and Adam showed up promptly to make sure I kept my appointment. I made one weak attempt to circumvent the inevitable, but he persisted and I caved.

He reminded me, "No need to mention the diet coke, just say yes when they ask if you've been drinking water."

"I don't need to lie," I told him, "I've calculated that I HAVE actually had 60 ounces of (carbonated) water so far today."

We climbed aboard and I went through the questionaire with alacrity; I knew the drill and I was prepared for all the carefully worded questions. Yes, no, no, no, yes, yes, no, no and no. Turn the paper in. Step into the sound-proof booth. Answer the same questions, this time in person.

Tap my foot. Read the sign about Kenya. Try not to look at the bottle of curettes or the blood-red trash receptacles. It isn't blood, it's a spider and we are here, the technician and I to squish with firm resolve.

There's cool music being piped into the sound-proof booth which isn't really a booth, it it is a large field of lavender, and I am in the field with my darling daughters. We're picking lavender to make sachets for Mother's Day. There is no bus, no whitecoat, no sharpies in sight. Just me and my girls and a field of nose-tickling scents.

What medication did you take from the watch list? Feldene. How long ago? 35 years ago. How long did you take it? Two weeks.

When did you have a transfusion? Thirty years ago. Was it human or other animal? Human, I assume.

Where have you been outside the US/Canada? Europe and Mexico. How long were you there? Two weeks in London, 1 week in France, 1 week in Mexico. When did this travel to Mexico take place? 2 months ago. Where in Mexico?

Sayulita.

On the coast?

Yes, about 40 miles north of Puerto Vallarta.

When were you there?

March 6th through the 13th.

Now, he didn't exactly strip off his gloves and throw them in the trash. He didn't spit me from the bus as though I were a nasty taste in his mouth. But he did give me a note.

That says I cannot donate for a year from March 13th.

I am one happy camper in a spider-free tent, oh yes, I am.