Fuzzy Logic

Main Entry: Boolean algebra
Function: noun
Date: circa 1889
: an algebraic system that consists of a set closed under two binary operations and that can be described by any of various systems of postulates all of which can be deduced from the postulates that each operation is commutative, that each operation is distributive over the other, that an identity element exists for each operation, and that for every element in the set there exists another element which when combined with the first under either one of the operations yields the identity element of the other operation

Huh? This is why I live in Dictionopolis, not Digitopolis -- no rigamarole. (Main Entry: rig·ma·role, circa 1736, confused or meaningless talk).

I had a dream last night, one that did not require the intervention of my Dream Angel. It wasn't pleasant, but it was empowering. In my dream, my mother came to visit. She was sitting in the toe of the shoe with one of my girls at a table made from the trunk of a tree; the other three were just coming in from playing in the snow with me, and their cheeks were all aglow.

A meal was on the table, and my mother was dishing up. As the first of the three latecomers removed her foxgloves and slid down the hardwood arch to slip gracefully onto her toadstool, my mother said, "You're ten minutes late, you owe me ten minutes of work after dinner." The child meekly nodded her acceptance of the pronounced sentence and sat down. Grandma dished her up a plate.

The second of the three approached the table, and my mother growled, "You're twenty minutes late, you owe me twenty minutes of work after dinner." The child meekly nodded her acceptance of the pronounced sentence and sat down. Grandma dished her up a plate.

The third child approached the table, and Grandma said, "You're late, you owe me $85!" to which we all gasped for this child had no money and was currently struggling to make ends meet in her own little shoe down the cobbled way.

"Mom," I said, "that's not fair! You've pronounced reasonable sentences for the other girls; why not in this case?"

"Because I'm in charge," she said, and I paled.

"But grandma..." said Child Number 3.

"We'll hear no more about it!" said Grandma. "Now sit down, you two, and eat; the shoestring potatoes are getting cold!"

I looked at three shocked faces around the table. I looked at one darling daughter with tears in her eyes. I looked at the stern countenance of a face that I...suddenly no longer feared.

"No," I said. "Pardon me for disagreeing, but this is MY shoe, and I make the rules. If a child is late to dinner, I will determine what an appropriate consequence would be AFTER taking into consideration mitigating circumstances. If the child is late and IN MY COMPANY, there will be NO punishment at all for it won't have been her fault.

I appreciate that you cooked us such a splendid meal, but you really should have inquired when we might be expected home. We were spending the day together and there is nothing more precious than the time I have with my children.

Now that's the end of this discussion. Would someone please pass the buttercup?"