Dunderhead

Myself: (muttering)...so 1 and 10 cross first, and 1 comes back..
Me: I had the best time last night!
I: Yeah? (drops a slice of bread and a pat of butter in the frypan)
Myself: ...then 1 and 2 cross, and 1 comes back...
Me: Yep. The fairies had a game last night and they SMOKED the dragonflies. 12 to 1!
I: Game? (flips the bread)
Myself: ...that's ten plus one plus two plus one...
Me: Yep. The final for badminton. They were ON FIRE.
I: How does a fairy play badminton? Aren't the birdies a bit too big for the players? (chuckles)
Me: Very funny. You KNOW they don't use real birds, right?
Myself: Dude, YOU know the FAIRIES aren't real, right?
I: (shakes head sadly) Don't.
Me: ExCUSE ME?
Myself: You heard me. The fairies. Not real. imaGINation.
Me: Em...wrongo in the congo! They ARE real - just ask monkeyboy!
Myself: (snorts!)
I: Oh, this is gonna get ugly...
Me: You know, I've asked you NOT to do that.
Myself: What? What did I do?
Me: You SNORTED.
Myself: No I didn't.
Me: Yes, yes you did.
I: You did, actually...
Myself: Ok, I snorted. So what?
Me: I've asked you several times not to snort at things I say.
Myself: No, I don't think you have. You've asked me not to guffaw. I didn't guffaw.
Me: I've asked you repeatedly NOT TO SNORT.
I: It's true. You're not supposed to snort, it just causes friction.
Myself: Friction?? Dude, she's livin' in a fantasy world!
Me: AM NOT.
Myself: are too...
Me: AM NOT!!
Myself: ARRRRRE TOO.
I: Oh, geez. (looking up) Serenity now?
Me: You know what? I WASN'T EVEN TALKING TO YOU, so why don't you just go back to whatever you were mumbling about and leave me alone!
Myself: Works for me. I'll be in my room. If anyone needs a healthy dose of REALITY, feel free to join me.
I: (waits a moment until a door closes down the hallway) You know...
Me: Oh crimony. Can't I just tell you about the game?
I: (shrugs) Sure.
Me: The fairies are using a new birdie, they found this company that manufactures slightly larger but lighter dandelion fluff. They've been practicing with it for a couple of weeks, so they technically had a slight advantage over the dragonflies who couldn't pull their strength back enough to not keep hitting it wayyyyyy out of bounds.
I: Don't you think that's a bit of bad form?
Me: Not really. The company, DunderHead Sports, has been advertising the new birdie for months. If the dragonflies would read a sports magazine once in a blue moon...
I: Yeah...that's a bit thin, you know. Dragonflies aren't really known for reading up on the latest technology.
Me: Well, that's hardly a logical argument.
I: Hm. So, can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure...
I: Do...you...really think the fairies are real?
Me: ...
I: I mean, you've been...you know...going to see someone about all this right?
Me: You mean my weekly appointments?
I: Yeah. Isn't that supposed to, you know...help you figure out what's real and what's...let's say not?
Me: Well, no. Not really.
I: Then what's it for?
Me: (hesitates) Can I show you something?
I: Sure.
Me: (leads the way down the hall to a door)
I: Dude, are we going into your bedroom?
Me: Yep.
I: I'd rather not.
Me: Trust me.
I: I'd rather not.
Me: You want the answer?
I: Not if it's in your bedroom.
Me: Too bad so sad, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. (opens the door, sunlight floods into the hallway)
I: WHAT THE FU...
Me: Yeah :)
I: What the hell happened in here? Six months ago, this place was a pigsty!
Me: I know :)
I: A PIGSTY! How'd it get so clean??
Me: I do a little each week :)
I: Are those sheer curtains on the windows? What happened to the damasks?
Me: They're gone :)
I: You have a WINDOW SEAT? When'd you get a window seat??
Me: It's always been there, just covered in junk!
I: Can I get a window seat in my room?
Me: (raised eyebrows)
I: God, even the smell's gone! This is what she does?
Me: Yep.
I: So, it's working.
Me: Yep.
I: I...I don't know what to say! You realize that means there's likely not going to be three of us living here much longer...
Me: (laughs) Oh, don't worry about that.
I: Why? What does THAT mean?
Me: It'll take me a lot longer to reconcile myself to the three of us than me to the rest of the world. Trust me :)
(they hug and a door across the hall opens)
Myself: Whoa. Now we're doin' group hugs?
Me: Want in?
Myself: Not a chance!
I: (glances at open door across the hall) Dude, what IS that nasty smell??
Myself: When'd you get a window seat?