Stay Awake

WHERE THE HELL IS MY DREAM ANGEL???? I looked everywhere in dreamland, and she was NOT THERE. I looked all along the inner perimeter where she usually patrols just outside my peripheral vision; she wasn't there. I climbed the bookcliffs to see if perhaps she was patrolling the outer perimeter, and I couldn't see her there either. She was nowhere on the dreamscape!

And I have to tell you, it took a lot of courage for me to climb up to the top of the bookcliffs and look because the draemons sometimes hide out in the caves just below the bookshelf and, when I was standing there, looking far and wide for my dream angel, I could feel their malevolence; the air positively reeked with the stench of their foul-mindedness, so I'm pretty sure they were very close by.

So since I couldn't find her, I headed back to the center of dreamland, back to my bedroom and my magic bed with its magic covers, and the draemons had gotten there first! The bedroom had shrunk to the size of a double bed plus a mere foot on either side, and the hardwood floor was covered in small brown cockroaches, they were literally swarming over each other hurrying absolutely nowhere! And I couldn't stand the thought of stepping on them and hearing their little crunchy sounds, and I didn't want any crawling up my leg, so I leapt to the exact center of the bed which is where the magic happens, only to realize it was also covered in them, even under the magic blankets and magic sheets!!

So I called for my dream angel, "WHERE ARE YOU?" I cried, and all I heard was draemonic laughter that spilled out a gazillion more cockroaches to run across the floor and up the bedframe and across my feet as I danced like an absolute lunatic in an attempt to keep my feet off the bed and away from the bugs. Needless to say, that was an extremely restless night of sleep.

And the rest of the week was just as bad! I dreamt about exes and my mom and the American flag and all kinds of crap! Last night I dreamt that I was trying to get the kids out of the house and into the car before the thermostat that was really a timer counted down to 0000 and the living room exploded. And one of the children hid in the coat closet and refused to come out because she said I was scaring her cuz I was crying and insisting they leave in the middle of the night when they were still wearing their jammies and if everything was really ok then why couldn't they put on regular clothes first. So I had to grab at her which scared her more and when I finally got hold of her and bundled her into a coat and out to the car, she went kicking and screaming which broke my heart, but what could I do??? Then when we got in the car and drove away, I bought them each a balloon to cheer them up, and the balloons turned into draemons and the kids started screaming all over again!!

And in that dream, I looked all around for my dream angel, I really, really needed her to be going all Lara Croft/Tomb Raiders-ish on the draemons, but she was still nowhere to be found. And there were no throwing stars with sayings to stop the draemons, sayings like "Crimples are cute curls too," and "You can't say thanks too much;" she and her vast arsenal of most excellent weapons for fighting evil thoughts WERE NOT THERE.

I finally just got up and sat in the living room and stared at the blue light on my code monkey's computer until the sound and smell of the draemons disappeared from my sleep-deprived mind. Then I went back to bed and curled up in some very strong and capable arms and decided that perhaps during my waking hour I should quit thinking about how many days are left to the end of the year and the start of the new year which you might recall is 2010, The Year of Smooshing Small Spiders.