Welcome back, Grosse Pointe Blank

Ok, I've had something rattling around in my brain for a few weeks now, and I need to release it into the wild.

First, let me say I have no issue whatsoever with bumper stickers in general.  In fact, I get a kick out of matching the stickers with the type of car they are on and forming, like, a whole personality for the person behind the wheel - it helps pass the time while sitting in traffic. 

But one bumper sticker drives me freakin'  nuts.  In my opinion it is the most pointless, stupid bumper sticker on the planet.

"Ask me about my grandchildren."

What type of person thinks this sort of conversational gambit belongs on their car?  Do they really want someone asking them something while they are driving?  Are they really so lonely that they want to make a personal connection with a complete stranger between traffic signals?  And are their grandchildren so dull they can be summed up in the 45 seconds it takes for a red light to turn green??

Seriously, on the road with a stranger is not the time nor place for a convo about Sally and her upcoming ballet recital.  WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING??

I can just see some guy in an Audi S80 with a V8 engine and illegally tinted windows doing some crazy-ass lane change from behind an old man, zooming up next to him and gesturing to get him to roll his windows.  The old man will be, like, "What is going on?" and then the light turns green and he guns it to top out at 35 mph in six seconds flat, only to hit the next red light where the Audi is still trying to engage in meaningful dialog and is now much more animated about it.  And the old man totally freaks out and pulls a sharp right into the Safeway parking lot, breathing a sigh of relief until he realizes that the Audi whipped in behind him and the driver is now advancing on him, shouting because the old man won't roll down his windows, "I JUST WANT TO ASK HOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN ARE!" 

HELLO, McFLY! 

Here's a tip: THIS IS PERSONAL INFORMATION AND SHOULD NOT BE SHARED WITH STRANGERS.

If you have such a bumper sticker on your car , I HOPE to high heaven that you are standing in line at the grocery store some day and a greasy-haired creepo sidles up to you and asks, "Boys or girls? What school do they go to? How old are they? Do they like candy?"

Also, I'm pretty sure your kids, their parents, do not want you telling a stranger who followed you into the parking lot ANYTHING about their children. In fact, it's clearly outlined in The Grandparents Guidebook as immediate grounds for dismissal.

Ok, I'm done.  I feel much better.  Now, to answer the question of where I've been for the past few years, "I freaked out, joined the army, went into business for myself. I'm a professional killer."